December 2011
1 post
November 2011
1 post
September 2011
1 post
August 2011
2 posts
Being a grown-up is hard.
“I think we are one of those couples with a long story, when people ask how we found each other.”
July 2011
2 posts
I am neither lying, nor exaggerating, nor the least bit unsure when I say this: I am a much better person than you. I could never do the things you’ve done, those things that lack a moral compass, a pure heart. In every situation I encounter, boundaries are made, they are not ignored, they are not set aside. You are absolutely nothing other than a child for whom these boundaries seem not to...
June 2011
3 posts
May 2011
1 post
February 2011
13 posts
I knew I couldn’t compete
As soon as I noticed how you looked at her
And how she smiled at you
And you always smiled back.
You were alone together in your best friend’s living room
As I waited for your attention downstairs.
As soon as those three words poured out of her heart,
You said them to me only in vain.
It was a mockery.
You made a drooling fool of me.
You could have...
Day 29: The person that you want to tell...
Well, there have been a few people like this in my life. I’m usually not shy with talking to people about things, except in one specific instance. If I actually have feelings for someone, I tend to keep it a huge awkward secret and I let it fester until finally I just cannot keep it inside anymore and I let everything out. It’s a bad habit, but I’m very unsure of myself in those...
Day 28: Someone that changed your life
Once again, I’ll give this one to Mr. Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. He gave me a whole new way to look at life in general. He also showed me that someone that is as much of an asshole and a cynic as I am can still be admired and not completely hated by all of the general population.
Day 27: The friendliest person you knew for only...
I’m getting tired of this challenge. I cannot think of who that would be, and I’m not sure that anyone would be able to.
Day 26: The last person you made a pinky promise...
Oh boy, I don’t remember at all! I’m sure it was someone when I was considerably younger, and I can’t remember what it was, so I imagine it was not significant! I don’t know!
Day 25: The person you know that is going through...
I’m not sure who this would be. I know that Melly Bean is going through a tough time, with the loss of a real good friend, and a damn good gal, from what I’ve heard. I cannot even imagine what that is like.
Day 24: The person that gave you your favorite...
Well, I suppose for this, I need to know what my favorite memory is. I suppose that my childhood, as a whole, is what that would be. So! That being said, I have my family to thank. Specifically my parents, who always made sure we were having fun, and Brianne, who actually made it fun. We would go on wonderful little vacations and things like that, but more than anything, I love remembering when we...
Day 23: The last person you kissed
Oh jeez. Well, I’ve said enough about him. I regret those last kisses more than anything, I never knew who I was hurting and to what extent. I don’t know, more than anything I am just disappointed that he still is the last person I kissed, and that although I have moved on, I have not enjoyed the spoils of circumstances finally lining up and being a single gal and I have not taken...
Day 22: Someone you want to give a second chance...
I’ve given far too many second chances to far too many people, and right now, I don’t think I’m in a position with anyone where a second chance would be necessary.
Day 21: Someone you judged by their first...
Well, I hate to be this way, but I always judge people based on their first impression. I think most people are that way, regardless of whether or not they will admit it. In return, I completely accept being judged based on my first impression, which is rarely very good.
Day 20: The one that broke your heart the hardest
There really isn’t any competition, because I’ve always been the breaker, not the broken. So, the only person that ‘broke my heart,’ if you will, well…I don’t know what to say. He seemed great, not because he was, but because I made myself an expert at turning a blind eye to his fatal flaws. As long as I had him, after years of working to get him, I didn’t...
Day 19: Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
I can’t really say that anyone does at this time. There is someone, I suppose, that I think about quite often, and it’s both a good and bad thing. I don’t know! This would be much better if I understood myself whatsoever.
January 2011
32 posts
Day 18: The person that you wish you could be
I’ll stray from my physical goals, and stick to my personality. I want to be strong and sturdy and trusting like I used to be. I want to let absolutely nothing bother me, and I want to be confident with myself and who I am. I don’t want to be afraid to let myself go or to give myself to someone else, some day. I’m tired of letting every bad thing that has happened to me seep...
Day 17: Someone from your childhood
Oh boy, who to choose!
I suppose Morrissa Lebowitz would be the best choice. She and Brianne and I were best friends for years, and we did a million ridiculous things and experienced a million ridiculous things together. We successfully made a rap/song about how one would get a hernia if they laughed too hard, drank at least four two-liters of mountain dew a night, made radio shows, listened to...
Day 16: Someone that’s not in your state/country
I suppose my dad would fit this description.
He moved to Nashville, TN about four years ago.
And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
You lack logic like I lack lies.
Day 15: The person you miss the most
Well, that person doesn’t exist anymore.
And there’s no reason to go into any more detail.
Day 14: Someone you’ve drifted away from
Oh, this list could go on and on. Most times that I’ve separated myself from people, it’s been intentional, but there are a few that were not. For example! Suzy Emo, we were such good friends until she moved away =( We used to have a ton of fun, and although she only lives twenty-ish minutes away, we never seem to have time to visit each other. And, Dylan, again. Years ago we would sit...
it was always something and i was always a fool.
and i always believed every excuse
our happiness was disposable, never growing, never new
and though i knew, i never knew.
every word, i took it as the truth
i trusted you when i knew not to.
i look back. it was abrasive, degrading.
you were burrowed so deep inside of me, i couldnt see.
i was enjoying giving you everything
taking nothing.
never...
Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve wronged anyone in any type of severe way that merits forgiveness. I don’t lie, I don’t cheat, I don’t do most things that make people hate other people. Anyone who hates me probably does because I can be quite a bitch, and I’m okay with that, because that’s who I am. I’d rather not be forgiven for that.
Headlights on the ice in the air
I’ve never felt so cold before
fingers ache, bones creak
lying next to you would always help
You were always my own space heater,
or sometimes, my heated blanket (If I was lucky)
you were cold and warm all at once
and now it seems you’re frigid.
I wonder if your skin is warm anymore
Or maybe your heart has frozen your blood.
(Y’know, as...
Day 12: The person you hate most/caused you a lot...
This is simple. That asshole of an ex boyfriend of mine. That asshole who lied to me for years, to which extents I’m not even sure. That asshole who apparently cannot see me in public without spewing even more lies about me. I hate him, and I hate that I wasted so much time on him, and I regret every single day. I put unbelievable amounts of effort into making him and keeping him happy, all...
Day 11: A Deceased person you wish you could talk...
At the risk of repeating myself, I’ll say Kurt Vonnegut Jr. again. I don’t need to explain why a second time. It would be perfect.
Day 10: Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d...
I think that would be ol’ Dyllie. We used to be so close! We had so much fun! Now he lives in Erie, and I don’t talk to him quite as much as I wish I could. But! When we do meet up, we have one hell of a good time, without fail, every time. He’s a good ol’ guy, and my cheeks hurt from hours and hours of drunken laughter with him.
Day 9: Someone you wish you could meet
This is an easy one. I wish I could have met Mister Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. more than anybody. I just feel as though it would be a life-changing experience. I’m sure I would leave the meeting with some new-found appreciation of life from his perspective, regardless of how cynical it would be. We would be good friends.
Day 8: Your favorite internet friend
Oh, I don’t have any of those! I suppose that’s the end of this post.
Day 7: Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Where to start. He was beautiful to me, absolutely everything I had ever dreamed of in a significant other. He was outstandingly attractive, affectionate, and he made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. Before we started dating, I found out that he was a liar. Back then, this couldn’t stop my love for him, it just kept growing. He held my hand (metaphorically) throughout my miserable...
New years.
I wasted three years of first kisses.
I wonder where i could have been by now.
Day 6: A stranger
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to write about this, because I obviously do not know about a stranger. There are some characters around town, though, that I feel must have led very interesting lives, and sitting down with them and listening to their lives would be so very intriguing. When I see people walking or driving, I often wonder where they’re going, or what they’re...
Day 5: Your dreams
I have few, and they would seem attainable if they didn’t seem so unattainable right now. I want to teach art. I want to show everybody the passion of my life. I want to have a family, and a house, and kids, and cats.
I would love to be loved, some day.
You used to make my eyes smile.
My heart would leap from the roof of my ribs.
No risk was too big while your name still graced my lips.
You were the first boy i (knew i) loved.
I made you happy for years, and my eyes smiled every time i saw you trekking across my brain.
Life changed.
After years of falling, my silly heart reached the bottom.
It hit.
It broke.
When you stomp through my brain, i...
Day 4: your siblings
I have three of them. Jennifer, my big sister, is 28. She showed me what love comes with having a nephew for the first time. I was ten. Jonathan was so small. Eight years later, she had Christopher. They are beautiful. Asf or Jennifer herself, she’s taught me many things, mostly by showing me what to avoid through example. She always reminds me to laugh.
Jeremy, my big brother, is 24. He...
Apparently in my case, i didn’t know what i didn’t have until it was gone.
What a horrible waste of time with a genuinely horrible person.
Day 3: Your parents
Well, jeez. My dad moved to Nashville about four years ago. I don’t have much good to say about him, so I suppose I won’t say anything. My mom is a strange lady. She’s crazy and absurd and wonderful. She always listens to me complain, and she never gets tired of it.
Day 2: Your crush
Well, this will be a short post. I do not have one. I haven’t found someone who has seriously wooed me in quite a while, and based on how the last relationship I was in turned out, with someone who did actually completely woo me, I’d rather not find someone new for quite a long time. Nothing is that good.